12.5 weeks and going strong

There is so much going on in my boob-brain right now (it's located just left of the overthinking cortex, in case you were wondering). I have wanted to write a post a day but just don't have the time.

A few snippets of my crazy brain:

- My stunner is now twelve and a half weeks old. My first boy was eleven and a half weeks when we stopped our arduous journey and he began to be solely fed from a bottle. We have now made it further along, and with only a slight fraction of the heartache, which continues to amaze me. He has yet to ever have a bottle, which I am secretly very proud of (hmm not so secret any more). I still feel like I keep having to convince people -- even the people that are really close to me -- that this is what I want to do. It isn't an obligation, it is what I like! Feeding him a bottle isn't going to magically reduce my stress levels (I'm a stressy person, y'know? Yes, you know), in fact I think it'd increase them. I love feeding my boy the way that we do. So I wish that I didn't have to keep saying that and keep defending it... I'm not 'amazing' for sticking with this, it is just that it is working, so I'm not going to change what is not broken and what gives us both such satisfaction. 

This is how we roll.
- I try to be 'natural'. I tried incredibly hard to have natural births, using hypnobirthing methods and ensuring I was in an environment where I felt safe and empowered, and I did this so well both times (I still have to write my second birth story! It is a doozy!). I always try to avoid medications for myself and my children if I could try something else first, though medications obviously have their place (vaccinations, for example, ibuprofen for severe teething pain, etc). I am trying to feed my child the most natural way possible while his system is at its most vulnerable. And yet, I am drugging myself quite significantly with Domperidone in order to do this. Isn't it a bit of an oxymoron to try to lead a natural life, to want to feed my child 'naturally' and then have to take drugs to do it? I don't have any answer to this, it's just something that is floating around in my brain.

Ah those cuddles, where he throws a leg over me too :)
- The stupid SNS bottle keeps breaking. These people need to sort this out! A broken bottle means that I potentially can't breastfeed, which just is not cool. The part where the tube connects keeps breaking off, meaning that right now I need to stuff my shirt with paper towels to collect the drips that are coming out of the half-broken side, while he feeds on the other. I've considered just breaking it off and stuffing the hole with blu-tac or something similar (though I can't think of any other thing), but not sure I want little blu-tac remnants to enter milk, and not sure how to clean it effectively if that is the case. At least Medela have apologised and two new bottles (which are stupidly expensive) are coming in the mail either today or tomorrow. This is the third time this has happened. But we are still choofing along great with make-shift fixes.

Here is where it keeps breaking. GRR!
Ah there is more more more -- about taking my friend's milk, about pumping, about periods, about body image, about infertility...  but that's enough for today.

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